For those of you who are like me and don’t like conflict (I mean—really don’t like conflict), I want to share something with you that helped me become able to handle conflict situations better. It’s not “five easy steps” or some secret knowledge that came to me in a dream. It’s something that I gained from counselling, and something that I like to help my clients with too.

The issue with jargon is that it becomes common place language that loses it’s meaning over time. Or, in the case of the term “trauma-informed”, everyone adds the tag to their website or Psychology Today profile because it sounds good—even though both the therapist and client might not know what it actually means…

“Never let them see you sweat ,” is what I thought to myself. I could feel the weight of the stressful event clinging to me throughout the afternoon and into the evening, but I carried on—until I couldn’t carry on anymore…

“You mean, a ‘counsellor’? Heck no. I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work. They just gave me some dumb coping skills and sent me on my way.”

I operate with a simple principle for my health, and it translates into my work as a counsellor: don’t work at coping with the issue harder than you are willing to work to resolve it. In other words, don’t waste your time and energy getting a temporary fix, if you could instead experience true and lasting relief…

I’ve recommended tons of people to different counsellors around Saskatoon over the years. But the common objection I hear in response is, “Why? How could that help?”

I must admit—I’m only ‘slightly’ biased... but please hear me out.

Before I was a counsellor, I was a client…