Discover Your Core Values and Start Living Authentically

Young person living fearless true to self

Have you ever felt like you’re not quite living the life you’re meant to? Maybe you’ve made decisions that seemed logical at the time but left you feeling empty. The truth is, living authentically starts with understanding your personal core values. These values are like your internal compass—they guide you toward the life that feels right for you.

In this post, we’ll talk about what core values are, how to uncover yours, and how to align your life with them. By the end, you’ll have the tools to live authentically and with purpose.

What Are Personal Core Values?

Let’s start with the basics: core values are the principles and beliefs that matter most to you. They’re the non-negotiables that shape your decisions, behaviors, and goals. Think of them as the foundation of your personality and identity.

Common examples of core values include:

  • Integrity

  • Freedom

  • Family

  • Creativity

  • Empathy

For some people, values are deeply tied to their upbringing or cultural background. For others, they might emerge through life experiences. No matter where they come from, your core values are yours, and understanding them is essential for leading a meaningful life.

Why Knowing Your Core Values Matters

So why should you care about identifying your core values? Because when you know what truly matters to you, life gets a lot clearer.

  1. Decision-Making Becomes Easier
    Whether it’s deciding on a career move or navigating a tricky relationship, knowing your values gives you a clear framework to base your choices on.

  2. You’ll Feel More Fulfilled
    Living in alignment with your values means you’ll feel a sense of purpose and satisfaction. It’s like a “click” moment—when everything feels right.

  3. It Helps You Set Boundaries
    When you know what’s important, it’s easier to say no to things that don’t align with your values, saving time and energy for what truly matters.

Journaling to find personal core values

How to Identify Your Core Values

Finding your core values might sound like a big task, but don’t worry—I’ve got a simple roadmap for you.

Reflect on Key Life Experiences
Think about moments in your life when you felt on top of the world. Maybe it was finishing a creative project, helping a friend in need, or spending quality time with your family. Now, think about why those moments were so meaningful. The underlying reason is often tied to your values.

On the flip side, think about times you felt deeply frustrated or disappointed. Those feelings often show up when one of your values is violated. For example, if honesty is a core value, being lied to might really sting.

Use a Values Inventory
Grab a list of common core values (a quick Google search will do) and highlight the ones that resonate with you. Narrow it down to about 5-10 values that feel like they really reflect who you are.

Pay Attention to Emotional Cues
What makes you feel alive? What drains your energy? These emotional reactions are huge clues. For instance, if volunteering makes your heart sing, it could point to values like compassion or service.

Ask for Feedback
Sometimes, the people closest to you can see things you can’t. Ask trusted friends or family what they think your top values might be. Their insights can help confirm or expand your list.

Try a Core Values Exercise
If you enjoy journaling, here’s a quick exercise:

  • Write down five moments in your life that made you happiest.

  • For each moment, jot down the qualities or principles that were present.

  • Look for patterns or recurring themes—those are likely your core values.

Living in Alignment with Your Values

Once you’ve identified your core values, the real work begins: living in alignment with them. Here’s how to do it:

Use Your Values as a Decision-Making Tool
Before making a big decision, ask yourself, “Does this align with my values?” For example, if family is one of your top values, you might think twice before taking a job that requires constant travel.

Set Goals That Reflect Your Values
Your goals should feel like a natural extension of what matters most to you. If creativity is a core value, make time to pursue hobbies or career paths that allow you to express it.

Establish Healthy Boundaries
Living authentically sometimes means saying no. If a commitment or relationship clashes with your values, it’s okay to step back. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential for staying true to yourself.

Be Open to Growth
Your values might evolve over time, and that’s perfectly normal. Stay curious and check in with yourself regularly to make sure your life still aligns with what matters most.

Authentic young woman feeling good about mental health

Challenges in Living Authentically

Let’s be real—living authentically isn’t always easy. Here are some common challenges and how to overcome them:

  1. Fear of Judgment
    It’s natural to worry about what others think, especially if your values don’t align with societal expectations. Remember, your life is yours to live, not theirs.

  2. Balancing Competing Values
    Sometimes, values can conflict. For instance, you might value freedom but also crave stability. The key is to prioritize what feels most important in the moment.

  3. Overcoming Societal Pressure
    Society often pushes us toward success, wealth, or status, which might not align with your values. Stay grounded by regularly reflecting on what truly makes you happy.

Staying Grounded in Your Values

To keep living authentically, make self-reflection a regular habit. Here are a few practices to try:

  • Mindfulness: Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on your actions and whether they align with your values.

  • Gratitude Journaling: Write down one thing you did today that reflected your values.

  • Accountability Partner: Share your values with someone you trust and ask them to help you stay aligned.

The Results of Living Authentically

When you live according to your core values, amazing things happen:

  • You’ll feel less stressed because you’re no longer fighting against yourself.

  • Your relationships will improve because you’re honest about who you are.

  • Life feels more meaningful because everything you do reflects what matters most.

Discovering your core values is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. It’s like uncovering the blueprint to your happiest, most authentic life. Start by reflecting on what matters, align your actions with those values, and don’t be afraid to make adjustments along the way.

Previous
Previous

Rewriting the Past: How Memory Reconsolidation Heals Trauma

Next
Next

Attachment Theory and Our Relationship with God