Several years ago, I had to work closely with someone who was very negative, and our relationship became toxic. I couldn't avoid this person, and their constant negativity started to affect me deeply. To protect myself, I began to shut down emotionally.

As a result, I withdrew from not just the negative person but also from others I enjoyed being around. I stopped connecting with friends and coworkers who brought joy into my life. My way of dealing with the situation led to me feeling isolated and lonely, as I pushed away even the people who made me happy.

Looking back, I see that my approach was not helpful or healthy. By shutting down, I let the negativity spread into all parts of my life instead of dealing with it directly. I learned that it's important to stay connected with supportive people, especially during tough times, and to find better ways to handle difficult situations without shutting myself off from the world.

Why should you guard your heart?

King Solomon famously wrote, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV) These are wise words from a wise man. Clearly the condition of our heart matters, and it has an impact on all areas of our lives.

When God made us, He gave us a heart that would need protecting, nurturing, and caring. He intended for our hearts to be a source of love, joy, and compassion, capable of deep connections with others and with Him. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world filled with broken people, and often our hearts are not treated with the kindness and respect they deserve. We encounter negativity, betrayal, and pain that can cause our hearts to suffer and become weary. This harsh reality can lead us to believe that the best way to protect our hearts is to build walls around them, shutting out potential sources of hurt.

However, guarding our hearts does not mean isolating ourselves or shutting everything and everyone out. True protection of the heart involves discerning whom to let in and setting healthy boundaries to maintain emotional and spiritual well-being. It means being mindful of the influences we allow into our lives and seeking relationships that nurture and uplift us. By surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive people and engaging in activities that enrich our souls, we create a strong defense against the brokenness of the world.

Additionally, caring for our hearts involves self-reflection and seeking God's guidance. It means taking the time to heal from past wounds and practicing forgiveness, both for ourselves and others. By nurturing our hearts through prayer, meditation, and other forms of spiritual growth, we align ourselves more closely with God's intentions. In doing so, we not only protect our hearts but also enable them to flourish and spread love and compassion to those around us, reflecting the divine purpose for which they were created.

Three Tips to Help You Guard Your Heart

1. Be patient and kind with yourself.

Extending kindness and patience to yourself is crucial, especially if you have experienced deep hurt or are going through a challenging season. This means acknowledging that healing takes time and that it's okay to feel vulnerable and to take things one step at a time. Pay attention to your self-talk or thought life, making sure it is compassionate and encouraging rather than critical or harsh. When you treat yourself with the same patience and kindness you would offer to a friend in need, you create a nurturing environment for your heart to heal and grow stronger.

2. Set healthy boundaries.

Your heart and emotional well-being need to be protected, and one of the most effective ways to do this is by establishing clear boundaries in your relationships and time management. This means being honest about your limits and needs, and not being afraid to communicate them to others. Learn to say no to people and activities that drain your energy or that compromise your values. By prioritizing healthy, loving connections, you nourish and protect your heart. Boundaries are not about shutting people out, but about creating a safe space where you can thrive. They help safeguard your emotional health and preserve your capacity for authentic, meaningful connections with others.

3. Practice gratitude.

Cultivating a mindset of gratitude can significantly enhance your emotional well-being. Take time each day to appreciate the good things and blessings in your life, no matter how small they may seem. By focusing on positive moments and the support of loving people around you, you shift your perspective from what you lack to what you have. Soak up those moments of joy and healthy connections, and make a conscious effort to seek out and spend time with those who love and support you. Practicing gratitude not only brings more positivity into your life but also strengthens your heart, making it more resilient against the challenges you face.

Learning how to keep your heart both open and safe is in important part of emotional maturity that will impact all other areas of your life. If this is something you are struggling with, consider connecting with one of our counsellors for a free consultation to learn more.